It is FRIDAY... the first week of 2008 is over. It went by rather quickly but without too many stresses. The kids are starting to get back into the swing of getting up early (after 2 1/2 weeks off it was hard the first couple of days). I am not nearly caught up with my paperwork from being off for vacation let alone the end of the month stuff and the end of the year. Then I have to start thinking about purging the filing cabinet of 2006 stuff so that 2007 can fit into it as the RNs need room to file. Looks like I will be working this weekend.
So as some of you may have figured out Dante and I are indeed seeing each other. Let me explain our relationship as I see it currently. I am happy with Brian but I am not content. I don't want to loose him or hurt him. Dante states the same thing about Rebecca. Now I don't know their relationship fully because I don't really know Rebecca but I can state in my opinion that I am missing something in my relationship. Dante brings what I am missing and always has an ear to lend. He is not trying to break up me and Brian. We have spoken about if or when the 2 separate relationships should fail if we would try again (openly). Right now, I just want to live in the moment. I want to enjoy the friendship. I want to enjoy him. Someone might look in and say that I am doing morally wrong. I agree. Plain and simple... I do agree. However, I just can't let go. I can't bring myself to talk to a therapist about it neither.
I once told a friend that I was addicted to two things. Neither were illegal so why should I give either one up. One was Caffeine. As in Soda... I used to drink about 2 liters of Pepsi a day by my self. Now I just have a coffee in the a.m. and a soda with lunch (16 oz.), and a soda at bed (16 oz.)time. And if I want anything more I drink water, juice or koolaid. The other thing I am addicted to is SEX. Yes, I said it. I am a closet Nympho. I need to have my fix every other day at least. I would enjoy it every single morning and every single night with a couple of random times throughout the day but there are kids to be taken care of and jobs to be worked so I get what I can... If I don't I turn into a bitch. I mean really a big one. I can't help myself neither. But the problem that I have also is once is not enough. It is like just warming me up. So here is my current dilemma. I have no place for Dante and me to get comfortable and spend some quality time together. If anyone cares... help me... don't try to change me!
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2 comments:
The addictions are harmless.
But you are playing with fire. You know how you feel and what is right and wrong.
You are young and you want to play but you are a mom also, so you have to find a balance.
Are you afraid of being alone?
What is happening? Please update us!
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