Letter to Tonya:

Dear Tonya,

You have been my friend for many years. We have had many, many differences however, we have been there for each other's kids. When needed you have been there for me (court with your mom, trials of being pregnant and going through separation from your brother, etc.) and I hope you see it that I have been there for you (when you left Nelson, or you needed rides, or references for work, etc.). However, over the past 2 months I have been getting such a bad vibe from you, from people around you, and from speaking with you. I have heard on numerous accounts that I "steal" your boyfriends. That I have slept with everyone and I pursue each one of them just so I can sleep with them to despise you. I am not going to pick away at you nor am I going to rub your face however we know who was with Mike, who was married to him and had 3 kids. Yes you may have been with him in high school but then you moved away. I did not know you when I met him. I only knew you and grew to become your friend after/during your pregnancy for Ariona years after I left Mike. I did not despise you for this. After you and Mike split it was you and me for a while and in that time every time I was seeing someone you ended up with them. What bothers me is that when I told you I had an interest in seeing John you told me that you have always liked him. I stopped pursuing him. Never even bothered to cross my mind anymore. It just doesn't interest me. Sorry. But then when George and I soured (after I was with him on and off again for 3 1/2 years) you turned right to him (I know it was him, it just happened, but you still were with him). He kept coming to me saying how unhappy he was and I would tell him he could crash on my couch you automatically assumed we were sleeping together. You know what you pushed us to it. If you accuse someone enough they are going to do it. Isn't that what you told Nelson? George went back to you though... whatever. Men are men. That doesn't bother me. Then there was Eric. Eric and I were best friends for so many years. We knew so much about each other. You stepped in started telling Eric all kinds of things about me and now he won't even take my calls. It hurts when the person who is supposed to be your best friend goes behind your back and stabs you like that. We stopped talking shortly after Brian and I ended because, well because frankly I believe you were pursuing him. I don't know the whole truth and I probably never will. I don't want to know it because it would disgust me to think that you slept with Brian in spite of me and our relationship. Recently you have gone through your times with Nelson and not once have I ever picked up the phone, stopped by his house, or even attempted to contact him because he is YOURS. whether you are with him or not. You were with him and I respected that. However, you treated someone else very poorly in the meantime while you and Nelson continue to play mind games. Jay turned to someone to listen to him. I was there. He was watching my daughter. I was not going to just stop that just because you went back to Nelson all along telling Jay that you didn't want to be with Nelson but you didn't want to move in with him neither. The many of times that Jay and I sat on the phone talking or he comes over to my house so the kids can play all we discuss is you. You and Jay. You and Nelson. It isn't about me and Jay. I am a friend. From the get go though you started spreading rumors that Jay and I were sleeping together. That if we weren't it was just a matter of time because that is the way I was. Please explain to me how I am because apparently I am naive and don't know. I have not slept with Jay. Nor will I ever. I am happy with Brian. I have discussed Jay's and my friendship with Brian and it is our issue. NOT YOURS. You are with Nelson. Whether you want to own up to it or not. You live with Nelson, you watch his kids, he watches your kids, you and he pay on the house together, you sleep in the same bed, you tell him all the time you love him. What part of that is it that you are not with the man? How is Jay supposed to feel when he goes to bed at night upset that you are with another man? For the first month I told him that you would come back to him. That he was so much better then Nelson. That you were just stupid. But now I can't stand it when he mentions your name because I see the pain in his eyes. Why would you do this to someone you supposedly cared about? I spoke with Jay this morning and he told me what you said. "If your sleeping with her, then I'll find out. If your not sleeping with her, well then you will eventually. Either way I have no need for either of you." Tonya, I tell you this for the last time. Good bye.